I was in a spot of bother, you see, and in she walks. After that I didn’t see ‘er for a long time, until that recent ‘ullabaloo in Amsterdam. After that I met Alice a few times, she were turning into a proper popsy-wopsy and no doubt making ‘er old man in ‘eaven proud, skirring ‘er own skyskiff, The Liddle Mew. But the damned Rozzers took him down, didn’t they? Ambush. Innocently skirring cargo from A to B as it were. Logistics?Īn ‘onest businessman, just like me. ‘Er dad were John ‘Awkeye, you must ‘ave ‘eard of ‘im? Course you ‘ave, everybody ‘as!! Cap’n ‘Awkeye being famous in….erm….the business of logistics. I were crewing for Alice’s old man, you see, on The Salty Mew, the fizziest aerocraft on the south coast at the time. You’ll find a young hen full as good as your…. Said Nelly to John if you’ll pull up my smock
I’ve ‘eard Alice whistling the tunes aboard the Kestrel, proud as a peacock I were, to know I been such a good influence.īy the light of a candle I happened to spy Since she was a nipper, used to perch on me knee and I’d sing her a ditty or two, didn’t I? Not that dull patriotic rubbish, mind you, proper songs like ‘Ere’s to the Grog and Lily White Thighs.
Damfino why, I am more quiet than a nun what took vows of silence, ‘onest Guv, you’ll find me jaws are locked tighter than the creamy thighs of a…… Yes, quite, so you can tell us something about Miss Kittyhawk? How long have you known her?
Alice asked me to come, said I’d be better at it cause I never shut me sauce-box. No offense, but I was expecting one Miss Alice Kittyhawk… erm… Mister…?Ĭap’n Fitzsimmons Noakes, at your service. We were actually hoping to interview Miss Alice Kittyhawk about her adventures, but she had pressing obligations in London and sent Captain Noakes in her stead.Ĭaptain Noakes has a peculiar way of speaking which might sound a bit odd to modern ears, and we suspect that this particular interview is NSFW. Dear readers, tonight with me is Fitzsimmons Noakes, the modest captain of the airship ‘The Centennial Kestrel’, the fastest Channel-Runner in business I am told.
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